I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
