Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
