he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
