You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think I died a long time ago.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
