I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
