Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
