I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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