I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
