Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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