if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
