we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
