the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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