I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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