ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
