Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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