He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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