I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
