lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize