I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you would pick up someone in the library
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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