We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i think i have herpe
just one?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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