6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
