i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
