he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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