Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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