Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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