please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
