I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
