i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
