Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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