her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
