She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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