i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
