From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
