Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm too high and old for this...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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