talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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