The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize