It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
