Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
