if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We were destined to go to rehab together
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize