Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
