You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize