So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
