So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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