Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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