is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize