Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize