So drunk its hurt
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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