It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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