Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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