Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
