Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
