You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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