I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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