yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
