Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
