I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
