Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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