Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
