this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
3 2 1 whiskey
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
