Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
