question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
