Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
