She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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